Thursday, May 31, 2007
I said for about the 4ooth time, as I wiped up the spill on the linoleum. Sighing, I sat back down and heard the thunk of the toilet seat.
Wait.... the big kids are in here....
I hear a hard stream coming from the bathroom and get there just in time to catch the D-meister finishing up his tap-taps.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!" I erupt into a heartfelt cheer, filled with hope that the backsliding may be coming to an end.
D-meister, filled with glee, runs to me and leaps into my arms, giving me huge smooches on the cheek.
My goodness. This is what passes for joy on a Thursday morning in the 2007 house. And it is, true joy!
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
If you're reading this, then I was not talking about you. I have very good, close friends IRT as well as online and I am no way dissatisfied with those loyal and true friends. In fact, I wrote recently on a message board about my real-time friends that they are all nurturing and positive, for both my children and me.
The previous blog entry covered everything in my life from my marriage, my relationship to God and former friends, to my frustration at not being able to hold Carmen, to my automotive troubles and my new side effects to my happy pills. I am sitting here curious about the current state of our affairs, and that's where I am. Curious, contemplative.
I am no longer depressed (I think). I am not writing from a seat of anger. (Just for general reference, I usually don't do that either.)
So thank you. Thank you to the friend concerned enough to call me, and to those ladies who commented here. But I am ok, really I am. I am just musing right now, and nothing much more than that.
After all, I have a van again.
Release is never easy for me. I am processing something now that has been a huge challenge for me. I am almost there, but facing pain, especially in the absence of external resolutions, is hard for anyone. For me, with my Achilles' heel flaw of being hypersensitive to being abandoned or ignored, it's an exquisite, nagging pain. Coupled with the hugely pressing anxiety attacks from the last month, I finally gave it up.
I am stubborn. I am a Christian, just a very, very liberal one. We're ELCA Lutherans, which is about as true-to-what-I-naturally-believe as we could find, and the doctrine leaves a lot up to the individual. It does not however, ignore God and its presence and power in our lives.
We got the van back last night. The phones seem to be working again. My house arrest appears to be over. It's all very timely, and now I have to figure out the lesson. I do listen to God, it just takes more than nudging, sometimes. The lesson may be that I don't get to know the why. My place has been set, and that's all there is to it.
I am grateful, as always, for what I do have.
- why has the concerta changed? am I healed?
- will this marital cameraderie continue? are we finally through the baby years?
- why can't I help with any of the new ones when, for the first time ever, I am qualified and capable?
- what about me makes me best suited to helping people when they are in need? why I am otherwise disposable?
- two months' grounding. Two MONTHS?
- can we do it this time? make the life the way we said it should be? can that even happen here?
- am I healing?
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Yesterday the Mack-family came over and we beached it. We built a campfire on the beach and roasted hot dogs for lunch, and after the beach we came back here to regroup. Why regroup? Because our insane children think it's perfectly fine to swim in the Puget Sound in MAY. Not so much, guys. Yoiks.
Dinner was -- well it doesn't matter. The kids only ate the grilled corn. (which come now, we all expected to be the case.) We had fun! Lots of tired babies!
At the beach, G shredded her arm on some barnacles. This is 24 hours later, with constant green goo and bandaging. Those scrapes were deep, open gashes yesterday. It's healing nicely, so I am pleased with that!
D-meister is a styling fashion er, king.......
Monday, May 28, 2007
now I know why I couldn't get to sleep last night at all-- I stayed awake until Danelle went to sleep, cuddling with her newborn baby girl.
This morning, my family got to listen to their family. It's so wonderful, hearing those baby coos. Congratulations, my new inductees into the world of blissful baby parenting. We love you so much!
Thursday, May 24, 2007
I got up at 8.13AM today.
Wow. That was unusual.
Today we put in the sunflower house, and found a few hefty Jerusalem artichokes while we did. I left two that we didn't accidentally decimate, and see if these grow into full-out sunflowers. Tonight, I get a tasty sage butter dish. We planted Dwarf Sunray varietal between the Mammoth Grey last year so that the kids would get some flowers at their head-height. So that's how it works!
I also put in the rest of our Brussels sprouts and the globe artichokes
~G~ and I started our earthquake unit today. I shouldn't call it an earthquake unit, since we'll include the requisite clay-baking soda-lemon juice volcanoes as well, but this is the kit we're using to start it out. I love love love multi-discipline units, and the one we're starting has it all: reading, writing, art, science, history, culture. Yum.
I will include ~N~ as much as he wants, but he's been definitely diverging his interests from his sister's, so our brief sojourn into "class" as they wanted it, is over for now. It works for me, because ~G~ has been getting held back a lot from where she wants to go intellectually, while the boys clamor over us during her more indepth studies. I am taking this natural space and running with it. She really deserves it, and the boys deserve to PLAY. We all win.
Monday, May 21, 2007
While I worked really hard before we left to make sure the house was clean when we got back, today you'd have a hard time telling that. Now, at the 5 o'clock hour I am back to no dirty clothes and no dirty dishes, but oh dear the kids have strewn all over. I don't care. It's been a lovely day; their laughter was worth it and hey, Stargate Atlantis was on all day.
I never watch that much TV but it helped me get through the laundry! :)
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
If you read this and you knit -- consider yourself tagged! Be sure to leave a comment so I can see your list.
Bold for stuff you've done, italics for stuff you plan to do eventually
and normal for stuff you don't intend to do
Knitting with metal wire
Knitting with camel yarn
Knitting with silk
Moebius band knitting
Participating in a KAL
Drop stitch patterns
Knitting with recycled/secondhand yarn
Slip stitch patterns
Knitting with bananafiber yarn
Domino knitting (=modular knitting)
Twisted stitch patterns
Knitting with Bamboo yarn
Two end knitting
Knitting with soy yarn
Knitting with circular needles
Knitting with your own handspun yarn
Graffitti knitting (knitting items on, or to be left on the street)
Designing knitted garments
Cable stitch patterns (incl. Aran)
Publishing a knitting book
Teaching a child to knit
American/English knitting (as opposed to continental)
Knitting to make money
Knitting with Alpaca
Fair Isle Knitting
Dying with plant colors
Knitting items for a wedding
Household items (dishcloths, washcloths, tea cosies...)
Knitting socks (or other small tubular items)on two circulars
Knitting with someone else's handspun yarn
Knitting with dpns
Holiday related knitting
Teaching a male to knit
Knitting for a living
Knitting with cotton
Knitting two socks (or other small tubular items) on two circulars simultaneously
Knitting with wool
Kitchener Bind Off
Knitting with beads
Long Tail CO
Knitting and Purling Backwards
Knitting with selfpatterning/selfstriping/variegating yarn
Knitting with Cashmere
Knitting with synthetic yarn
Writing a pattern
Knitting with Linen
Knitting for preemies
Knitting a pattern from an online knitting magazine
Knitting on a loom
Knitting a gift
Knitting for pets
Knitting with dog/cat hair
Knitting in public
Lory, you possess an interesting balance of hemispheric and sensory characteristics, with a slight right-brain dominance and a slight preference for visual processing.
Since neither of these is completely centered, you lack the indecision and second-guessing associated with other patterns. You have a distinct preference for creativity and intuition with seemingly sufficient verbal skills to be able to translate in any meaningful way to yourself and others.
You tend to see things in "wholes" without surrendering the ability to attend to details. You can give them sufficient notice to be able to utitlize and incorporate them as part of an overall pattern.
In the same way, while you are active and process information simultaneously, you demonstrate a capacity for sequencing as well as reflection which allows for some "inner dialogue."
All in all, you are likely to be quite content with yourself and your style although at times it will not necessarily be appreciated by others. You have sufficient confidence to not second-guess yourself, but rather to use your critical faculties in a way that enhances, rather than limits, your creativity.
You can learn in either mode although far more efficiently within the visual mode. It is likely that in listening to conversations or lecture materials you simultaneously translate into pictures which enhance and elaborate on the meaning.
It is most likely that you will gravitate towards those endeavors which are predominantly visual but include some logic or structuring. (Beadwork much?)You may either work particularly hard at cultivating your auditory skills or risk "missing out" on being able to efficiently process what you learn. Your own intuitive skills will at times interfere with your capacity to listen to others, which is something else you may need to take into account.
The coloration is mine, because they are points I clearly see in myself.
So today-tomorrow it is this:
- finish the laundry
- return library books
- clean the bathrooms
- put in the potatoes, romano bush beans and sunflower house
- bake ahead for camping treats
- store runs for camping supplies
- prep camping meals and
- load up the stuff for camping
I am beyond excited. P-daddy wanted this to be a just-us thing this time, which I am fine with actually. At first I really wanted to bring people along. The memories of the disaster from last year (disaster only because of the location, which none of us expected or could have anticipated), have faded and I think about the fun we had with our friends instead of the yuckiness. That's a nice happenstance.
I think we need to spend some time connecting as a family though, in a very low-ley manner. I like this plan all around, because I believe it will be a nice break for all of us. The work involved in camping is something P-Daddy and I both like to do, and the park, while awesome, is close enough to home for us to book it if need be. I hope the weather holds out. It's been beautiful lately.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Four loads of laundry.
One run in friend's van to pick up our van from mechanic.
One run in van to help friend who helped us, who now has a flat tire.
Sung "Happy Birthday" to my elderly Grandmomma in SC.
Desperation dinner. Straight-up desperation dinner of noodles and jarred sauce.
We had a busy day.
I remember the first year we were here, how spring stuttered into being. Our good friends Cuckoohead and Danny had come for the week of N's birthday, and they never saw Mt. Rainier. The very next week, I recall, the clouds parted and it stayed heavenly the rest of the summer. Each year since has proven that out so maybe I will start some in-house mythology about ~N~ bringing the sun with him. For his toddler years, he always did say "Mommy, I made the sun for you!" It drove his sister NUTS, but of course, Mommy loved it.
Yesterday was so sunny and beautiful that the kids ran around in the sprinklers and ate ice cream cones outside. I potted a bunch of flowers and realized all our beautiful seedlings are ready for transplant. It feels good to be ahead of the game this year.
Strawberry Bed is installed and mulched. I also planted some lettuce (good companion plants), a canna lily, and some Brussels sprouts right by the deck. The lily and the sprouts should grow pretty tall, which will give them an ornamental quality for the deck.
Back Bed is dug and the soaker hoses are laid. The purchased tomatoes and onion sets went in a week or two ago, and I added squash and some bush beans last week. The remaining seedlings will go in sometime before we go camping this week.
Side bed-- which was our primary bed last year-- is not ready yet. I am currently double digging it, and the soaker hose is not covered yet. This is where the shadier things will go, although the work P-daddy did on the overhanging plants has opened up that garden more significantly than I expected.
The children have their own garden bed this year, which is right outside there window. G has already planted a long row of corn and watermelons. Today I will give her some bush Romanos to plant in a row. The child ate our entire crop last year, and no I am not kidding. She (and her homies) really did.
This year, I will be entering the kids into photo contests (see the link above). It's combining two of my favorite things, so it will be fun just to submit something.
On Mother's Day, we went to Rosedale gardens and I talked to a guy who helped us a lot when we moved in to this house. He'd sworn by a certain garden book and said "This is your Gardening Bible." The next year, my CSA farmer Terry showed me the same book and said "This is your Bible if you want have a good garden." The problem is, it's 50.00. So I checked it out once, but I have never been able to justify the purchase. He asked me again on Sunday if I'd bought it and I abashedly said no.
"Then I have a surprise for you!" He went into the shed and pulled out his battered copy and handed it to me. "I bought a new one, but I couldn't bear to throw this one away."
Happy, happy, happy ~L~!
Monday, May 14, 2007
Congratulations to our niece LaLa. Mazel Tov!
LaLa HAD HER BABY BOY AT 1:30 A.M.
MONDAY THE 14TH.
8 LB. 1 OZ AND 22 INCHES LONG.
Personally, I am thinking my great-nephew had better be one rockin' awesome toddler to compensate his Mom for laboring all day and still missing a mother's day birth by an hour and a half!
(LaLa and my dd ~G~ look just alike)
Sunday, May 13, 2007
In 2006, P-Daddy colluded with the children to purchase three rose bushes. I love roses, and to have one for each child just thrilled me. He gave me a card that would look kitschy to anyone else, but was beautiful to me. So last year was nice. Traditionally I garden on mother's day, but this year we ended up just going to Rosedale gardens and tooling around there, me sporting my newest necklace, of course.
Mother's Day indeed. Today, our niece labors in a hospital in Michigan with her waters broken. Another friend has pink-tinged CM. I don't really hear from another friend due this month, so I don't know how she's doing, but my Danny in Charleston, due tomorrow, is showing no signs of impending labor.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
With the party due to start at 11 AM, we put him down for a quick nap at 11.08. One family had just arrived and ~N~ just didn't seem to care. That's sooooo unlike our little social boy. One of the realities of living this far out is that people are usually late; that's just a lot of pavement to traverse, so we had a little leeway. By 11.40 though, when the party was in full swing, ~N~ had woken up just enough to get sick on our bed. We cleaned him up, gave him a benadryl and turned on the bedroom TV. The adults mulled it over in the kitchen while the kids had a full-on play date in the backyard. While I had experienced it once as a child, I'd never expected to decide what to in the event of a child-too-sick-to-attend his-own-birthday.
Luckily, after some time to digest a benadryl when we finally figured it out (HE told us he was having a reaction, we're a little slow), and some homey-TLC by a loyal Coraggio boy who watched TV inside with him, he rallied. It was slow-going at first, but by 1 PM he was raring about with everyone else.
The kiddie count was 13 at the height of the party, and it was hilarious watching the two Daddies chase them around. The milk-free cake turned out ok, and we definitely had some extremely dirty, extremely tired little kids by the end of the party. The last guests left at 8 PM.
Thank you to the folks who came; N really appreciated it and is very aware of each of his guests. He's sensitive like that, and values each of you.
Pictures to come when the Mommies who took em send them on to me. :)
Friday, May 11, 2007
M, Milk-free; E, Egg-free; W, Wheat-free; P, Peanut-free; S, Soy-free; N, Nut-free
Double Layer Birthday Cake
M, E, P, S, N
3 cups cake flour
1 3/4 cups sugar
1 1/4 cups water
1/2 cup shortening
3 T. water, 3 T. oil, 2 tsp. baking powder; mixed together
2 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour two cake pans. In a large bowl, combine all ingredients. Using an electric mixer, beat until well mixed, approximately 4 minutes. Pour batter into cake pans. Bake 40 to 45 minutes, or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool in pans 10 minutes before removing to wire racks. Frost when completely cooled.
Note: Baking powder is intentionally listed twice in this recipe. The combination of 3 T. water, 3 T. oil, 2 tsp. baking powder; mixed together is the substitution for 2 eggs.
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
M, E, W, P, S, N
1/2 cup milk-free, soy-free margarine, softened
1/2 cup Hershey's® unsweetened cocoa powder
2 2/3 cups unsifted confectioners sugar
1/4 cup water
1 tsp. vanilla extract
Beat margarine on medium speed in large mixer bowl until softened, about 1 minute. Add remaining ingredients. Beat on low speed until ingredients are moistened. Beat on medium speed until creamy.
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
Hershey’s Special Dark Bark
M, E, W, P, S, N
1 (8-oz.) package of Hershey’s Unsweetened Baking Chocolate, broken into pieces
1/4 cup plus 1 tsp. shortening
1/8 tsp. vanilla extract
2 cups confectioners sugar
Grease 9x9-inch pan. Set aside. In medium bowl, microwave chocolate and shortening on high for 1 1/2 to 2 minutes, until mixture is melted and smooth when stirred. Add vanilla extract. Gradually stir in sugar. If mixture becomes too thick, knead with clean hands. Spread out in prepared pan. Cover tightly. Refrigerate until firm. Break into pieces. Store, well covered, in refrigerator.
Note: After changing the formulation on its Special Dark chocolate bar to include milk, Hershey’s developed this recipe for milk-allergic consumers.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
It sounds like a tractor again, despite Paul taking it BACK in and having the guy redo some something on it.
This morning, P-Daddy called me on his way to work to say there is a large puddle of transmission fluid (?) underneath it. "I didn't want you to freak out when you went out there, so I am warning you about it."
At least we hold the title.
ETA: our friend sent us instructions to " send your van off the nearest cliff, burning as it goes and then buy a hyundai"
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
On an upswing, we had a lovely weekend. We did. We got the van back Friday night* and on Saturday, drove to a friend's birthday party at Odyssey. The kids love what Chiknman refers to as "the human habitrail," and they did the party very efficiently. My kids havenever been to an arcade before, so when they took the children to that half of the play complex, their little heads started spinning. By the time we were ready (omg please let me out!) to leave, the children were, too. They each got puzzle boxes as party favors and the big kids actually put them together that night. (Their mom is not a fan of jigsaw puzzles, so I was pleasantly surprised by how well that went over here. )
Saturday afternoon, P-daddy got a gardening jig on and dug a new bed for our strawberries. He went NUTS, and built a rock wall around it and everything. I was really impressed with that, [pictures to come], and he was soooore the next day. :)
On Sunday, P-daddy went golfing and then we went to Penrose to scope out the perfect camping spot. You can reserve online, and WA State parks tries to make it as convenient as possible by including pictures , but ...if you can drive to see for yourself, it's so much easier. The tide was lower than any tide I have ever seen anywhere in my life. We walked into the inlet, out past the archipelago, for those of you who have been there. (Not the one on the left, the one on the right--- the two mile nature trail. ) People were clamming everywhere, bringing in geoducks and horse clams. We asked one man how he eats his geoduck and he said "raw." Um. yuck.
Valerie is so entirely suited to these happy marine colors. The jewelry is much brighter in person than is coming across in these pics.
*It is making clickety valve noises and on Sunday, when we drove back home fromPenrose, the gauges stopped working. The van would still run, start and go, but I couldn't see how fast we were going or whether we had any gas. Not acceptable after a 5 week sacrifice and 1650.00 expenditure.
Friday, May 04, 2007
Nikay brought me down (so not fair, so not fair, so my travellin' turn) some visitation and tomato starts (enough to share with the rest of you South Sounders btw). We played with beads yesterday while the children enjoyed the company of like-aged homeys. Nikay is dipping a toe into the crazy-ass real estate market here and she's probably, for the first time, as frazzled as I am because of her exposure to the morass they call "the market" in Puget Sound. I have much compassion for her new found affection for their cabin in the woods.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
today we had hailstorms-- two of them-- in which the sky grew swiftly dark and belched out large, pea-sized hailstones. It was so white on our porch that ~D~ thought it was snowing. Then it would revert back to sunny, blue skies. April showers bring May.....hailstorms?