G liked it. I hated it.
I feel.......impure. I feel the draw. I feel like I should do all of it or none of it. We decided on Tuesday / Thursdays, but the classes meet at noontime, so it's smack in the middle of our days. We like to have all day plans. I think that's a small sacrifice, but an annoying one.
Doing all of it is not an option, but these people have "it" under control. I really liked them.
It's not them, it's SCHOOL. I am revolted by the idea of my small children being corraled like that all day. I love homeschooling with my kids. But days like today make me feel like a freakshow. I am so accustomed to my little world that I really feel shaken.
WTH is wrong with me???????
OK it's late and I am freaking out. I LOVE HOMESCHOOLING. But we have property taxes sneaking up on us in October and I thought it would be a nice win-win situation if I enrolled G in music and PE at the local elementary school instead of continuing to pay for private lessons on the side.
I DON'T WANT HER TO GO NOW. For no other reason than... I DON'T WANT HER TO GO. It's not fair, it's not rational, and while they are pissing me off with their "just one more!" form bull, one expects that from the bureacracy. I am hoop-jumping their stupid paperwork as we speak, but it's making me actually, physically sick.
So she has gone to one music class, I have met the teacher and I like her program. I love how she talks to the children and this woman flipping writes grants on her own time to benefit her music program at the elementary school. Dedicated and smart, she thinks outside of the box to fund her own job and heavily volunteers in the community parks department. She's insanely wondermous and she's why I even bothered with this. I sought her out, and this is how I can get her for G.
When I think of G in her class, I am fine. But the whole sense of signing my child over in legalese, even when I KNOW it's paperwork the schools want to keep their own behinds covered........ it makes me nuts.
Is this because she's never been in school?? Ever? Am I having my preschool meltdown three years too late? We're talking about two hours a WEEK, here.
So if I pull her for my own peace of mind, then how do I make peace with G, who is very excited about it all now, because I have TAKEN HER THERE. I have set her tiny behind up for disappointment if I flake on this now. That's something I dread equally, maybe even more.
Lillian reminds me I am PMSing and perhaps I will benefit from chilling out. :)